Drunken Seranade
by Relatively Unknown
Summary: Iruka + Alcohol + A Song = Fun on Kakashi's doorstep! Even yaoi haters will like this one! Oh, and Iruka has an accomplice... (This is the one that was hinted at in "Blurry"!)


A/N: Well, here it is. The fic that was hinted at in "Blurry". Iruka sings to Kakashi, drunk,  
but he also has a little help....  
  
Mæthis: Shaddup, you're giving it away!  
  
CA: Nuh-uh, that's what you call a "teaser". Gets 'em interested.  
  
Mæthis: Well if they've made it this far, milady, isn't it safe to assume they are already  
interested?  
  
CA: ^-^6 Uh... It KEEPS them interested.  
  
Mæthis: ¬_¬6  
  
CA: So, read on and have fun and even if you don't like yaoi this is gonna be hilarious so  
read on!  
  
  
-------------------  
  
  
It had been a week since Sasuke's little escapade and he wanted revenge on Kakashi.  
Well, light-hearted revenge, since it _was_ his sensei's prodding that had gotten him to  
reveal his feelings about Naruto, which turned out for the good. But still, he wanted to get  
the guy back for putting up false pretenses... up until the last minute anyhow. He found it  
in his former teacher....  
  
  
Iruka had propositioned him on helping him out with a scheme he had been cooking up to  
get his own revenge on the silver-haired jounin. He knew he couldn't pull it off himself,  
and had been wondering what to do when he thought of Sasuke. Sasuke agreed  
immediately and the plan was put into action.  
  
  
Sasuke got Naruto to help, unknowingly. He said told his other that maybe he should stay  
at Kakashi's and Iruka could stay with him so they could swap stories and get new ideas  
and the like. Naruto thought it was a little strange, coming from Sasuke anyhow, but  
agreed readily and it was planned for a Saturday.   
  
  
When Iruka arrived, he and Sasuke began Operation Get Revenge On Kakashi. They had  
everything planned to a T, mainly for Sasuke since Iruka was going to be... slightly  
incapacitated. At seven, when the local bar opened, they went in and talked about all the  
things that were going to happen; the entire time Iruka was downing two or three bottles of   
beer an hour. He had an amazing ability to hold his liquor even better than Kakashi, so it was  
going to take a lot.  
  
  
Sasuke, on the other hand, stayed sober, drinking only water and soda. Finally, at about  
ten, he tapped Iruka on the shoulder and said it was now or never. They walked-- err,  
walked and stumbled-- their way down the street to a nonchalant little house that looked  
like it hadn't been taken care of for the past decade.   
  
  
Sasuke took out a portable boom box, a CD, a video camera, and cordless microphone.  
He put the CD in the boom box, programmed it to just play one song, hit repeat and  
pause, handed the mic to Iruka, got the camera ready, and decided on how to get Kakashi  
to come to the window.   
  
  
He threw a rock.  
  
  
It wasn't large enough to shatter it, but it nicked it pretty good, just like Sasuke had  
planned. He had hoped that would get the jounin's attention and he'd open it to growl  
whoever. The lights were on, but apparently nobody was home, since no one came to the  
window. Iruka was having trouble standing and looked like he was going to pass out  
soon, so Sasuke threw another rock, nicking the window again.  
  
  
Nothing.  
  
  
Now a little ticked, he threw a larger rock and it seemed that three times was the charm  
because the window shattered. Completely. He heard movement and quickly tried to hit  
Play on the boom box. Nothing. He hit it again. Nothing.  
  
  
"Wuz wong?" Iruka asked. Sasuke checked it and sighed.  
  
  
"The batteries are dead!" he replied in a hush tone. A figure appeared at the window. It  
was Naruto.  
  
  
"Who's there?" he called out.   
  
  
"Wha we do now?" Iruka slurred quietly.  
  
  
"Just wait here. You'll have to do it from memory," Sasuke told him.  
  
  
"But--"  
  
  
"Just wait, I'll talk to Naruto." He went out of the shadows where they were to where  
Naruto could see him.  
  
  
"Sasuke? Did you break the window?" he asked in disbelief. Sasuke signaled for him to  
hush.  
  
  
"Get Kakashi!" he said, his voice just above a whisper.  
  
  
"What? I can't hear you!" Naruto said, a little quieter but still too loud. Sasuke hushed  
him again.  
  
  
"Get Kakashi!"  
  
  
"Kakashi?" Naruto repeated, to which Sasuke nodded. "Why? Just come to the door, it's  
unlocked."  
  
  
"No, get him to come to the window!" Sasuke said. "It's important?"  
  
  
"What?" Sasuke mentally slapped himself and his other. He loved the boy, he truly did,  
but Naruto could be such a ditz sometimes.   
  
  
"Get Kakashi to come to the window!" he said, again, this time a little louder. Naruto  
looked confused, but Sasuke gave him that look that said 'Do what I say I'll explain  
later'. He had actually perfected it on him. Naruto shrugged and left the window. Sasuke  
went back to Iruka, or at least where Iruka had been. "Iruka-sensei? Where are you?"  
  
  
"Ova... ova 'ere...." came the very slurred reply. He was laying flat on the ground and  
looked about dead.   
  
  
"C'mon, Kakashi-sensei is coming to the window! It's showtime!" he said, dragging the  
man up into a sitting position.  
  
  
"I can't... I.. I can't..."  
  
  
"Why?" Sasuke said, expecting some excuse along the lines of he was too shy or  
something. It wasn't what he got.  
  
  
"I dun know da song!"   
  
  
"Say what?!" Sasuke said, losing his calm composure for a second. He didn't know the  
song? _Oh not now, not now!_ "But you picked it out!"  
  
  
"Yah but I dun know it.... S'only ro-man-tic one I know.... of...." As amusing as it was to  
hear him pronounce every syllable out in 'romantic', Sasuke wasn't amused. He thought  
that Iruka would have at least practiced it... It was his CD after all.   
  
  
"Well it was your idea and you're going out there and sing to him!"  
  
  
"But I dun know--"  
  
  
"Make it up! Now c'mon! He may have left the window!" he dragged Iruka to his feet  
and gave him a little push towards the window. He fell and rolled into sight. Kakashi and  
Naruto were there in the window. Sasuke focused the camera on the scene.  
  
  
"Iruka-sensei? Is that you?" Naruto asked.  
  
  
"'Ruka?" Kakashi asked, and by the look on his face, Sasuke knew he wasn't believing  
what he was seeing. He knew why. A drunk Iruka was about as rare as Naruto not hungry  
for ramen.   
  
  
Iruka managed to get his feet. He looked up and waved at his other and Naruto, which  
seemed to be the wrong thing to do. He promptly fell back down again. He made it back  
up and tried to speak into the mic.   
  
  
"It ain't workin'!" he called out to where Sasuke was hidden in the shadows.   
  
  
"Turn it on!"  
  
  
"What?" Sasuke was about ready to beat his head off a wall.   
  
  
"Push the green button!" he half-whispered, half-yelled back.  
  
  
"Oh."  
  
  
"Sasuke?" Kakashi asked, looking for him among the shadows. He wouldn't find him as  
long as Sasuke kept the camera lens out of the light. Iruka then found the button and  
pushed it.  
  
  
"Hey! Works!" He called into it, which was surprisingly loud, but not as loud as the  
feedback. "Ow!"  
  
  
"Hold it down!" _You idiot_, Sasuke mentally added. He took it back-- the man was drunk  
and he had agreed to this, knowing full well this might happen. So if Iruka was an idiot,  
so was he.   
  
  
"'Ruka, what in the blue hell are you doing?" Kakashi asked, though he had his  
suspicions. If that was Sasuke hiding in the shadows then this was a plan of revenge. He  
smirked beneath his mask. This was going to be amusing at least.  
  
  
"Singin'!" Iruka yelled, forgetting the mic for a moment. More feedback. "Owie," he said,  
holding his one ear.   
  
  
"Sing the damn song already!" Sasuke yelled out to the man. "But don't do it loud or  
we'll all be deaf!"  
  
  
"'kay," the man said, almost childlike. He paused. "I dun know da words--"  
  
  
"Make it up!" Sasuke yelled, his patience being sorely tested.   
  
  
"Dun yell at me!" Iruka yelled back, thankfully holding the mic down. "I'm yer  
su-peer-ree-er!"  
  
  
Naruto just shook his and laughed at all this. He heard Kakashi trying hard not to. They  
had just been talking about what had happened at the club and Sasuke's threat, which  
apparently wasn't enough for him. A drunk Iruka. Another wave of laughter came at that  
thought and this time Kakashi couldn't hold it back.  
  
  
"Dun waugh at me!" Iruka yelled at them. "Sas'ke dey are waughing at me!" Sasuke  
sighed.  
  
  
"If you sing they'll stop!" He said, trying ever so hard not to crack all three of their heads  
together.  
  
  
"'kay! 'ere I go!" Sasuke braced himself. "I.... will always.... wuv you... Oh I... will  
always... wuv you!"  
  
  
It was so far off-key it was almost in key. Sasuke smirked. This was going to be one hell  
of a video for them to watch together. Iruka paused as he thought of words before  
continuing.  
  
  
"I 'ope wife tweats you... kind! An' I 'ope you 'ave all you've dweamed of!" Another  
pause. "And I wish you shoy and 'appiness! But 'bove all dis, I wish you wuv!" Sasuke  
about dropped the camera. He had never laughed so hard before and it was all he could  
not to lose it entirely. A shot of the window proved that Kakashi was trying as well, but  
not succeeding and was laughing as hard as Naruto, who had tears in his eyes. "I.... will  
always.... wuv you... Oh I... will always... wuv you!"  
  
  
Kakashi finally lost it completely and was now almost doubled over in laughter. Iruka  
stopped and pouted. He sat down on the ground, and whether had meant to or not wasn't  
clear, but there he stayed. He crossed his arms and glared at the ground, still pouting.  
  
  
"Why'd you stop?" Kakashi asked, holding his laughter back for a moment.  
  
  
"Yer waughing at me!" Iruka said indignantly.   
  
  
"Ah, 'Ruka, it's only because I love you!" Iruka didn't seem to believe him. He continued  
to pout.  
  
  
"C'mon Iruka! Ya know I love ya! In fact," he said, "I'll prove it!" He disappeared from  
the window and came back with a mic of his own. _Oh God_, Sasuke thought, _if he sings I  
will lose it..._ Sure enough, he did. "I.... will always.... love you.... Oh I... will always...  
love you! Everybody!"  
  
  
He started up the chorus again, and this time, to Sasuke's surprise, Naruto joined in. Oh  
what the bloody hell, he thought, and joined in himself. Soon Iruka started up again. It  
was so hilarious! Sasuke had to lean against a building just so he wouldn't fall down and  
had to use every ounce of his control just to keep the camera up. It went on for a few  
rounds before Iruka managed to stand up again.  
  
  
"I'm comin' up!" he announced. Kakashi gave a look to Naruto, which meant, 'Leave.  
Now. Bye.' Naruto, still laughing, vanished from the window, as did Kakashi. Iruka  
stumbled in through the front door and Naruto walked out. Sasuke whistled to get his  
attention and waved him over.   
  
  
"Oi, Sasuke! Did you plan this--" he stopped when he saw the camera. "You didn't!"  
  
  
"I did and it's still on. But no, I didn't plan this." He turned the camera around so he was  
facing. "It was all Iruka's idea, I swear! I'm just the lackey!"  
  
  
"You? A lackey?" Naruto repeated in disbelief. "Does he know you....?"  
  
  
"Actually, no."  
  
  
"You are evil," Naruto said.  
  
  
"Am not!"  
  
  
"Are too!"  
  
  
"Am not!"  
  
  
"Are too and that's why I love ya!"  
  
  
"Oh. Well, in that case..." Sasuke was in a good mood. A rare good mood. He looked at  
the camera again. "Speaking of love... Don't forget to take a shower!"  
  
  
"Evil!" Naruto said. It was the last thing heard as Sasuke turned the camera off. He  
grinned like a chesire cat and Naruto gave him his infamous fox grin. This was going to  
be good.   
  
  
---------------  
  
  
It was two days later that Sasuke and Naruto showed up on Kakashi's and Iruka's  
doorstep with the tape in hand. They were just going to drop it off, but Kakashi insisted  
on them staying. Iruka sweatdropped the minute he found out what it was. He didn't  
remember much of the night... in fact, all he did remember was the aftermath. Kakashi  
had only said it was amusing, and left it at that. Now he would find out just what really  
did happen.  
  
  
The look on his face was well worth all the trouble in Sasuke's opinion. He had turned  
the camera on prior to Iruka's appearance before the window, so they all heard his  
admitting he didn't know the song. He blanched when he heard it (and saw it) and  
blushed the rest of the way through.   
  
  
It had given Naruto some ideas as well... Nah, he wouldn't do that. But maybe something  
else.... He'd have to get Kakashi in on this little scheme....  
  
  
  
CA: I obliterated that song.   
  
Mæthis: Wasn't those the real lyrics?  
  
CA: Yeah, I couldn't think of any made-up ones so I just pretended that they were  
made-up. I love that song. And I obliterated it. How could I?  
  
Mæthis: But you made up for it in humor, milady. I'm sure you'll get good reviews.  
  
CA: Good reviews? Hell, I'm happy with flames. (But good reviews are very very very  
very very appreciated!!!!)  
  
Mæthis: Thankfully you are shameless, ne?  
  
CA: Yeah, really. Or else I'd be like... embarassed or somethin'. ^-^6   
  
Mæthis: Or somethin'.   
  
CA: R/R!!!!!!!!! 


End file.
